


Where Do You Want To Be [Anko's Letter]

by IrisClou



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, IBIKI IS SO GOODDDD goddamn, M/M, Phone Sex, anko has a bad time for a few days, heads up - theres mentions of sexual abuse, idk this is a rough fic bc it deals with the after effects of severe trauma, kinda. izumos stupid. youll see, um....and then theres....how do i put this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 10:54:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20890940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisClou/pseuds/IrisClou
Summary: Interlude within Non Playable CharacterAnko has just gotten back to Konoha from the worst twelve months of her life. From Orochimaru.When she wants to be more dead than alive, she wonders why anyone bothers to "save" her.That is, until Ibiki reminds her that humanity is worth loving, and Izumo reminds her thatsheis worth loving.





	1. Chapter 1

> _ _

Anko collapsed in a dry, dusty heap on her bed. The softness, the air conditioning, the ... _ domesticity _ of the barracks mind numbing. 

She was tired. But in a way she couldn't explain. It was as if she had sailed home in a shell of herself, and left her physical body back on that cursed island. 

Bitter thoughts crossed over the Styx of her brain, however. 

_ "Pain is not a warning. Nor a deterrent. It is simply your body telling you you're not dead yet."  _

Her sensei's words echoed in the hollows of her mind. The  _ pain _ she was in, was beyond her comprehension. It was an existential ache, one that she knew she'd feel till the day she died. 

Anko slowly curled, the feel of being trapped in her own skin almost enough for her to try and gnaw it all away. She wished more than anything to be able to slough away her memories like a snake did its scales. 

The kunoichi spent nearly two days in this state. She did not get up to eat or drink or even relieve herself. She simply lay on the sheets, dipping in and out of consciousness, waking moments ranging from shaking and drooling, her eyes wide, to hissing softly and biting at her own arms to try and ease the mindless itch that coursed through her body like a parasite. 

On the dawn of the third day, Anko fell to the floor in a heap, and kicked out, thrashing until she managed to get to her hands and knees. With what strength she had left, staggered to her feet and lunged forward, slamming up against the wall and sliding with it until she reached the bathroom. 

The kunoichi stumbled in, and crashed down into the bathtub, reaching up to turn on the shower. She lay in the water for half an hour before the screaming started. In seconds, she'd torn off her clothes and writhed about like an eel, not caring about the heavy bruises that made her injured joints swell. 

Anko vomited bile and foam until she could barely breathe, urine mixing with it as the shower washed everything down the drain. 

She finally lay still after two hours, and fell asleep. 

The girl awoke to freezing cold water pelting her pale skin. She slammed her hand into the faucet, turning it off before pushing herself out like a slug from the tub, flopping onto the ground. She grabbed a nearby towel on the floor and wrapped herself up in it, shivering violently. 

Anko crawled out of the bathroom and onto the carpeted floor, and slept until nightfall. 

She awoke with a ravenous hunger and a wretched thirst. She drank from the tub faucet, like she couldn't get enough. She drank until she threw half of it up. With that quenched, the kunoichi got to her feet and walked unsteadily to the door, shuffling out completely naked. 

Anko nearly tumbled down the stairs towards the lobby, but managed to cling hard enough to the railing to keep her legs from tangling. 

She made it, surprisingly, all the way to the front desk, before someone came rushing over to her, berating her harshly for not having a scrap of clothing on her body. 

The kunoichi didn't even give the man the courtesy of a look and just punched him square in the nose. 

"Feed me." Anko snarled around the drool dripping down the corners of her mouth, eyes narrowed at the stunned receptionist. 

"Miss Mitarashi,  _ please _ ." A deeper voice caught her attention. 

She whirled around, fangs bared. The unamused gaze of Ibiki Morino stared back at her. 


	2. Ibiki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi im here to erase all daddy issues by replacing shit dads with ibiki dads
> 
> youre FUCKING welcome

> _And I know that they have hurt you_   
_And I know the love you gave feels cheap and used_   
_And I know it's getting harder_   
_And I know the lights have all gone dark on you_   
_Still I will love your shadow_

Anko hissed.

Ibiki sighed, eyes rolling as he approached her. Her strikes were blinding, but weak. The jonin quickly overpowered her. 

"You ought to have the decency to charge for shows." He joked, and willingly accepted the harsh knee to his groin. He didn't flinch, and his muscles bulged as he pulled the girl's arms behind her back, his huge hand engulfing her thin wrists effortlessly. 

"Anko, let me take care of this." He whispered in her ear as he forced her back towards the stairs, away from the staring shinobi. 

The kunoichi didn't go without a fight. But her body was frail in comparison to Ibiki's. 

The jonin managed to get her back to the room, locking the door behind them before releasing her. She came at him like a wild animal, tearing at him with her nails and teeth. He barely blinked at the onslaught. 

"Let it out. You're much easier to work with when you're tired." His voice was low.  _ Soft.  _

Anko doubled her efforts, enraged. 

But no amount of blood drawn fazed Ibiki. The kunoichi lasted an impressive ten minutes of inflicting senseless violence before dropping to her knees. 

"That's it." The jonin whispered, groaning as he eased himself down on his knees with her. "We'll get some food in you, I promise. But first, let's get you cleaned up." 

Anko swung her head around just as Ibiki reached out a hand to brush back her unkempt hair, and sank her fangs into his leathery skin, injecting a venom. 

He winced, but remained still. 

"Shh..." He murmured, expression softening, his free hand stroking her cheek as she growled around his scarred arm. "I know it hurts, sweetheart." 

Ibiki knelt with her until she relaxed her jaws, head bowing as her strength abruptly disappeared, falling limply into his strong arms. 

He breathed deeply as he concentrated on the toxin in his bloodstream, brain working quickly to figure out what the effects were. It seemed to be a generic paralysis venom. The jonin grit his teeth as he felt his muscles tense before growing weak. But he fought it, stretching out his legs under him and pulling the unconscious Anko into his lap, holding her close, nose to the top of her head. 

This girl -- no, now she was a young woman -- had been his shadow during some of the worst years of his life. She was obsessed with trying to prank him, and was met with continuous frustration and disappointment, as the scarred jonin seemed impervious to the twelve year old's antics. 

"I want to let you win...just this once, Anko." He grumbled, head pounding. "But you need me now, of all times." 

Those little acts of childishness were all it took to keep Ibiki going. To wake up knowing he'd hear that raspy giggling behind him, to see her bright eyes sparkling as she thought she had  _ finally  _ gotten the upper hand…it made the weight of being alive just  _ that  _ much lighter.  _ Anko  _ was the life, the future that he had become a jonin to preserve. 

It took about an hour for the toxin's effect to start weakening, and Ibiki took it like a horse chewing at the bit, hauling himself and the kunoichi up with a determined growl. 

The jonin's movements were sluggish, but he dragged himself to the bathroom, carefully setting the girl down in the tub, propping her up on the sloping side. 

"There...easy, girlie." He sighed, knowing every minute he endured this, it'd get easier. Warm water filled the tub, and Ibiki's calloused hands were never more tender than when he gently washed Anko. He took his time using the pitcher to wet her hair, easing out any knots with his stubby fingers. "I'd kill the man who did this to you, if he stayed still long enough." He whispered hotly, tracing down her cheek to her shoulder, eyes narrowing at the tri-tomoe swirl on her neck. 

Ibiki spent the better part of the hour thoroughly washing Anko from head to toe, marveling at how it left a bittersweet taste in his mouth to see his favorite kids grow up. Anko certainly wasn't the little brat he once knew, and in what seemed like only a few short years, she'd become a beautiful young woman. 

All he prayed for, was that little spark to not have been extinguished by Orochimaru. 

Of all the senseis of Konohagakure, he knew Orochimaru was one of the most powerful, and equally brutal in his teaching methods. If anyone would have the mettle to withstand his harsh instructions, it was Anko. 

But...the pain she must have endured to be in this state...and that marking on her neck…

Ibiki bowed his head, holding his breath.  _ Not now. She needs you.  _

Delicately, as if she were nothing more than a newborn, he lifted her from the bath, and drained it. He was so large, and her so small, that he was able to cradle her like a puppy in one arm while the other helped wrap her up in a soft, dry towel. 

The jonin carried her to the bed, and laid her down on the clean sheets. But not before he hugged her limp body close, mighty shoulders shaking as he wept into her neck. 

Ibiki, by no means, was a man to show his true emotions. For the most part, he felt as though they were just a memory of a life long past. Few things enraged him to the state of tears. 

He did not need the Yamanaka's mind reading skills to know what had happened. Anko had been stripped of all her humanity at her weakest point, and most likely been left out to die. When her sensei had no more use for her, he sent her back. Whether it was merciful to spare her, or just extended torture…

Ibiki Morino had seen more than even the strongest willed man could withstand in the thirty years he'd been alive. Child soldiers were nothing new to him. During wartime, it was common practice. You were willing, you were able, you fought, no questions asked. 

But there was no war now. No reason to subject children to things like this, though Anko was no longer a child. 

The jonin ran his warped hand through her hair, the other stroking her bare back. A cold creeping fear gripped his heart at the thought her mind would be unsalvageable when she recovered from this. 

With a heavy sigh, he tucked her under the covers, propping her head up on fluffy pillows. 

His dark eyes wandered across the features of her rounded face, her expression much more peaceful now. 

Ibiki Morino saw little point in getting married. But if he were to have a  _ daughter _ …

He extended his hand to brush away a few stray hairs before standing up and looking around. There was blood on the walls and vomit and urine on the floor. 

Nothing he hadn't seen before when torturing someone, but…

The jonin glanced back at Anko, before puffing a laugh. 

Or, when leaving a two year old alone in a house for a few hours. The ol' girl knew how to fuck a place up, that was for sure. He felt terrible pity for her, but it was...oddly amusing to feel this... _ paternal _ about it. 

Ibiki went to work, cleaning up everything best he could. It was midnight when he finished. Anko had not stirred. 

The jonin turned on the radio, for something soft to play as he contemplated his next move. 

No grocery would be open this time of night, and the canteen was probably closed. He'd have to bring supplies from his own house. 

But...he didn't want to leave Anko alone. 

Cutting his losses, he created a shadow clone to fetch the food, and sat with Anko. This was too much. As soon as he knew the girl would survive, he would go directly to Hiruzen Sarutobi himself. Orochimaru had to be stopped. Put an end to, by any means possible. 

Knowledge was power. Ibiki, of all shinobi, was acutely aware of this. But with power...comes obsession. With obsession comes the shedding of human morality. 

He'd kill Orochimaru with his bare hands, after wringing the bastard dry for every drop of forbidden knowledge he held. 

The jonin's eyes squeezed shut with a closed mouth yawn, and he lay back against the headboard, content to just pet Anko's fluffy hair and stare at the door. 

Maybe he  _ could  _ adopt her. The only thing that stopped him was the same reason he never pursued a wife, or a husband for that matter. They became targets for the enemy. 

Ibiki snorted. He wouldn't be worried about Anko. Even if he hated every single one of Orochimaru's guts, he knew his teachings would have made the girl more than capable of fighting off even S-class nin. She certainly wouldn't be able to win, but she would be able to get away, which was more than most people could say. 

He wondered if he was letting his emotions get the best of him. 

Ibiki could count on two fingers things that made him happy. Fresh pot roast, and the fat little mourning doves that cooed on his windowsill. Anko was becoming the third. 

"It's me." Came a low voice from the other side of the door, rousing the man from his musings. 

"Ah. Thanks." Ibiki stood up as his shadow clone entered, and took the bag of supplies from him. 

The clone puffed a laugh before dissipating. 

The jonin went to work right away in the kitchenette, cutting up fresh vegetables and seasoning the pork. Once everything was cooking, he just stood there and looked around a bit aimlessly, seemingly lost. 

He wasn't...suited for domestic life. It seemed foreign to him. However, he felt as though Anko had similar thoughts, and because of this, shared a kinship with her. 

The kunoichi stirred. 

Ibiki perked slightly at the sound, but did not move, just watched. She simply grumbled and curled up, burying her face in the downy comforter. 

The jonin hummed, and slipped off his trenchcoat, folding it neatly at the foot of the bed. She could wear that when she got up. He spent the better half of ten minutes scouring the place for any clothes, but found none. 

So, he'd brought an extra set of his uniform along with the food. There was no chance in hell that it'd fit the small framed girl, but...it brought a smile to his face thinking about how cute she'd look drowning in his clothes. Like a little kid trying out their parent's outfits. 

Ibiki inwardly berated himself for thinking that way. He wasn't this woman's father. These thoughts were much too indulgent. 

Anko's breathing changed, and the sensitive ears of the jonin picked up immediately on it. 


	3. Places That Can't Be Reached

> _I said we're all gonna die but I'll never believe it_   
_I love this world and I don't wanna leave it_   
_Said that death is a deal that you cannot refuse_   
_But I love you girl and I don't wanna lose you_

She was awake, she just didn't  _ want  _ to be. 

"Tell me how you feel." Ibiki studied the girl's growing scowl.

"Shit." She mumbled through pouting lips. 

"Excellent." He laughed loudly, causing Anko to make a cat like growl and slink back under the sheets. "I have food for you, if you're hungry." 

A hand shot out, fingers groping the air, beckoning. 

"Give." 

Ibiki snorted, and went to the kitchen, and at the familiar crinkling of something store bought…

Anko poked just the bare minimum of her face out the side of the sheets. She watched, drooling excessively, as a single, squishy dango was placed into her tiny palm.

Before Ibiki could blink, it was gone, and the sound of the girl trying to swallow it whole was heard. 

"More." She said, voice sticky. 

"I'm not feeding you sweets all night. That was just for talking to me." He spoke gruffly, and turned to walk back towards the kitchenette. There was a soft rustling noise, but he did not look behind him. 

He stopped at the stove, seeing out of the corner of his eye, Anko on all fours, watching him, clearly very alert and scared. But too hungry to care. 

"I prefer my naked women upright, thank you." Ibiki coughed into his elbow, ladling hot soup and noodles into a small bowl. "I left some clothes on the bed for you. Please wear them." 

Anko growled. 

"Anko." He turned to face her, soup in hand. "Don't even try attacking me. It's fucking  _ soup. _ You'll just burn yourself and spill it on the floor -- and no, I won't let you eat it then." He smirked. "Get dressed, and you get fed. Easy enough." 

The kunoichi loped off like an animal, jumping up onto the bed and flopping on her side before making a godawful yowling noise. 

"You think screaming is going to get you anything? Orochimaru didn't treat you like his pet. Quit it." Ibiki narrowed his eyes. 

Anko snarled, glaring at him before grabbing the weighted trench coat and swaddling herself in it. 

"Two legs. You're back home. Don't act stupid." 

The girl dragged her feet back to the kitchen. 

Ibiki carefully fixed the trench coat so her arms were  _ actually  _ in the huge sleeves. 

"Fucking feed me, you bitch." She snapped, finger nails scratching his arms as he held the food above her. 

"Excellent. That's the first sentence you've said all day. Good girl." He went to lower the bowl, but Anko's fist suddenly shot out, landing a harsh uppercut to his groin. The man blinked slowly as his stomach tensed at the pain. 

"Dont  _ fucking  _ call me that, old man." 

Ibiki realized his mistake. Orochimaru had probably called her the same thing. 

"I'm sorry." His voice was low, soft. 

But the girl couldn't care less. 

"Shut the fuck up! I'm hungry!" Anko screamed, and sank to her knees as soon as she got her hands on the bowl, not caring to use a spoon, just slurping it and shoveling the meat, vegetables, and noodles into her mouth with her bare hands. 

Ibiki watched with a blank expression as the girl licked the bowl clean, before leaping to her feet, grabbing the pot and pouring the rest into it. 

"You're going to throw up." 

"Eat shit." 

Anko finished the second bowl almost as fast, before her stomach began to heave. She swallowed it back down, hands clamped over her mouth. 

She lay on the floor, belly bulging. She coughed hard, and vomited a little. Ibiki had to pick her up and move her so she didn't try and eat it. 

"Alright. Enough." He said quietly, as she futilely struggled in his arms. 

"Pee." She hissed. 

"Not on me. You know what to do. Use the toilet." Ibiki set her down. "You pissed enough all over the damn place." 

Anko showed him her teeth, but obeyed. 

She returned, naked.

"Get dressed." 

Another snarl, but she again, obeyed. 

Anko sat on the bed for a while while Ibiki tidied up. He eventually settled in a chair beside the bed. 

"I won't ask you what happened. I've reduced men to your state before, I'm fully aware of what Orochimaru put you through." His deep voice was oddly soothing to Anko's ears. She buried herself deeper in his warm trench coat, eyes drooping at his scent. 

"Do you want to be alone tonight?" Ibiki still did not look at her directly. 

Silence. 

Anko hastily shook her head. 

"Fair enough." 

"Do you wanna fuck?" The girl cast unfeeling eyes on the man. 

Ibiki was shocked, but didn't show it. 

He grunted once. 

"No." 

"Good, cuz it still hurts." She looked away, hugging her knees to her chest. 

A brief flash of pain crossed Ibiki's face. 

_ Fuck!  _ His fingers twitched, wanting to curl into fists. But he had to stay calm.  _ So Orochimaru really did pull out all the stops.  _ He wondered for a minute what she had been subjected to. He prayed it wasn't the man himself -- though the idea of that twisted monster doing such things...didn't make a lick of sense. He wasn't one to be gratified in that way, or to let himself become vulnerable, even if for a few seconds. 

_ God...to train someone to use sex as a weapon, giving  _ and  _ receiving...how abhorrent.  _ Ibiki was convinced that the man had become a demon long, long ago. 

Ibiki closed his eyes, then spoke slowly.

"May I see?" He finally looked at her, coal eyes cool. 

Anko swallowed. 

"Why?" 

"When I washed you earlier, I didn't bother checking that for injuries." He stated plainly. 

"Just hurts. Not injured." 

"Anko." 

The kunoichi relented with a hot huff. 

Ibiki sat cross legged on the bed, the girl's knees hiked and splayed before him. 

He gently lifted her hips onto his lap. She simply scowled at him.

His hands were extremely careful as he examined her. There was no permanent damage. Just bruising, maybe a few superficial cuts. 

"May I shave you?" He asked, looking back up, hands on her thighs. 

"Yeah. Was gonna anyway. Don't like being furry. Hair catches on stuff." 

\--

Ibiki returned with a bowl of hot, soapy water and a razor, and went to work, jaw set. 

He was still relieved to see that, even beneath the hair, there were no signs of extreme abuse to the area. 

He'd happily have had the girl to do it herself, but her hands were still shaking, and he didn't trust her with a sharp blade on delicate skin. 

Anko was nodding off, the tenderness and warmth, along with her full stomach, made her sleepy. 

She began shifting her hips subtly. 

"No." Ibiki said gruffly, finishing up the last of the shaving. 

"Check inside." 

"No." He leered down at her. "Your body will heal itself if it's injured there. There's nothing I can do to medicate a place like that." 

Anko sighed, and pushed the bottom of her foot into his face, and smiled. 

"Thanks for doing my dirty work." She cracked a fanged grin. 

"Not my pleasure. But you're welcome." He couldn't help but hum with amusement, pulling her foot from his face. She wasn't out of the woods yet, but  _ Anko _ was alive. 

\--


	4. Will of Fire

Ibiki fell asleep in the chair. He was exhausted mentally, but the man was a very light sleeper. The minute he heard the sheets rustle and the bed creak, he awoke, keeping his eyes closed and his breathing slow. 

A hand touched his thigh. Then a knee. A weight settled into his lap. Something nosed into his chest. 

_ ...Anko… _

He sighed, and slowly raised his arms to hold her close, as tenderly as he could. She didn't move, only flinched slightly. Soon, however, her body relaxed. 

Ibiki could not stop the hot tears that stung his dry eyes. It was almost like a dog. 

She wanted  _ so badly  _ to be loved, that she'd put herself in situations she considered dangerous. There was no way she fully trusted the jonin, but her craving, her  _ need _ to be held overwhelmed her fear. 

The man inhaled shakily, grip tightening just a tiny bit more around the girl. 

He knew not to let himself be consumed with revenge. But he wanted nothing more than to meditate on every last method of torture he'd subject that monster Orochimaru to. 

Ibiki had seen this before. More than likely, Anko, despite her suffering and abuse from her own sensei, still loved that man. Still trusted him, wanted to be loved by him, somewhere deep down. Just as a child would love a parent, as sickening as it was to think such things. 

That certainly didn't negate her obvious hatred and loathing for Orochimaru. But Anko had been orphaned at a young age. Having someone like a legendary Sanin take interest in her, treat her kindly and with respect for years, only to rip her apart in her prime...it must have been near incomprehensible the amount of mental and emotional damage that was done to the poor girl. 

Ibiki kissed her temple, dry lips burning from the salty tears. 

Anko lay still, though her body tensed. 

"I'm here." He murmured. She pushed her face further into his broad chest. "I'll never leave you. You're my Will." 

The jonin felt his heart split apart like a stone as soft lips pressed to his neck. 

His mind had been made up.


	5. Where to Start

Ibiki woke with the stiffest neck, but Anko was still clinging to him in the chair. 

_ Damn. _ He swore to himself, wishing he'd had the common decency to have moved her to the bed. But in her state, it was best to let her do what she needed. 

He endured the next half hour of awkward sitting, until Anko woke. 

Ibiki made another shadow clone to go off and find food and clothes for the girl now that it was morning. The real one just sat back and watched her investigate the room cautiously for the first time, nose twitching. She looked funny in just his trenchcoat, and it amused him greatly, a jagged smile gracing his rugged features. 

-  
  


The rest of the day went by relatively slowly. Anko was finally decently clothed in some comfortable sweats and a hoodie. She had eaten her fill in a reasonable fashion, and had thrown a brush at Ibiki as means to tell him to comb her hair. 

The man laughed gruffly, and obliged, helping pin it up with a brand new hairpin the clone had gotten her. It was a beautiful pheasant, with its wings spread wide. 

It was such a basic act of bonding, but it was what the pair needed most. 

Now that Anko was what Ibiki considered "presentable," she wanted to leave. She wanted to wander around. The jonin recommended her stay just one more day in the barracks room. 

"Are you sure you're ready to start socializing right away?" He folded his arms as Anko lifted her hoodie up in the mirror, looking at her hips and rolling them for effect. She liked the comfort of the baggy clothes, but she also liked to be able to see her own curves. Orochimaru may have been, in her opinion, an absolute stone cold cunt, but he made certain she kept her body "beautiful," and it didn't help that he was an insufferable narcissist too. It simply rubbed off on the girl. She loved the way she looked. 

Now that she was finally home, once her bruises wore off, she couldn't wait to make a shadow clone and go to town on herself. 

"Come with me. If I try to kill anyone, you can stop me, old man." She turned around, winking cutely.

"Just because I'm twice your age doesn't mean I'm  _ old. _ " He folded his arms, brow raised.

Anko pouted, hand on her hip. 

"Sure you don't want to fuck? I'm kinda horny."

Ibiki's shoulders slumped and he groaned.

"Never been more sure in my life. _Now_ I know why I'm coming with you." He rubbed his temples. She was back to "normal _ ,"  _ yes, but now she had an insatiable libido. 

-

While he had been making breakfast only an hour ago, he had heard what sounded like pained cries and gasps coming from the shower. 

Not really thinking, just paternal panic in his veins, he'd rushed into the bathroom to see Anko, legs spread as she leaned up against the stall wall, pleasuring herself with her fingers. 

Ibiki had rolled his eyes, told her to "hurry up, or I'll burn the eggs" and left, shaking his head. 

-

"Okay." Anko shrugged, looking disinterested. 

"I'll answer every subsequent "do you want to fuck" question for you now: no. Not now, not ever. Don't bother asking again." 

Anko looked a bit surprised. 

"What? Really?" Her eyes widened. 

"I'm not playing hard to get either. There are a hundred reasons why I don't want to. None of them have to do with your looks or personality, so don't give me such a sour look, runt." Ibiki walked to the coat rack to put on his trench coat. Anko stared longingly at it. "And don't you  _ dare  _ try soliciting sex to anyone in public, or in general." He shot her a dark glare. "If you've got to get off, I'll take you home and let you take care of it. I get that Orochimaru fucked up your views on it, but that's no excuse to act stupid." 

"I want to wear that." She said flatly. 

Ibiki blinked. 

"What?"

"Coat. Want it." The girl began to pout. 

"Trying to be cute will get you nowhere with me." He mirrored her now scowling face. "We can get you your own."

Anko grumbled and stomped over to where Ibiki stood, and to his astonishment, hugged him tight, tucking her nose into his ribs, relishing the warmth of the surrounding trench coat and scent. 

Ibiki groaned and shook his head. This kid was killing him. 

"Fine. Once, and only this once." He slid the weighted coat off and gave it to her. "You look stupid in it, y'know. What with the sleeves like flippers and the bottom dragging." 

Anko grinned brightly. Ibiki immediately forgot why he had been frustrated. At this rate, she was probably going to  _ keep  _ the damn thing. 


	6. Reacclimating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anko you hot hot mess

Anko behaved decently while they were out, but "only because" she made Ibiki wait outside while she got off twice in the bed. 

The jonin couldn't give a shit less, but was grateful she seemed a lot more tired afterwards. He figured she'd probably fuck herself silly for a couple days, get over it, and move on with her life. Fingers crossed. He knew teenagers were stupid, but socially stunted ones even more so it seemed. 

The first place they went was the bank. Ibiki was alarmed at how much was in Anko's account, but then realized it was most likely from Orochimaru. He didn't bother reasoning why. 

For the most part, Anko did clothes and grocery shopping. With Ibiki around, she was less wary, and seemed quite relaxed.

"Alright. Now that you don't look like an absolute  _ fool _ in my coat," Ibiki pulled on his leather coat with a sigh of relief as Anko twirled around in her newest outfit -- mesh under armour and shorts and a lighter version of the chuunin flak jacket. "How about I make you a deal. I'll ask Lord Third if I can perform an eval on you. If you're deemed skilled enough to apply for tokubetsu jonin, and make it, I'll buy you a trench coat just like mine." 

Anko kicked at a stone in the road as they walked towards the post office. 

"May as well give me your wallet now, old man. I'll make jonin by next week." 

"Won't believe it until I see it, chickie." Ibiki snorted, cuffing her on the shoulder as she sidled up to him. "Besides. Shikaku-sensei will want to see you." 

Anko clammed up, her cheerful attitude waning. 

"Can't I just stay with you?" The kunoichi grabbed the man's sleeve, holding it. "I want you to be my sensei." 

"You've been with me for less than forty eight hours, Mitarashi." Ibiki shook her off. "Bold of you to assume that I have the time  _ or  _ want to do that." 

"Fucker. I'd be the best student you'd ever get." Anko spat, glaring down at her feet as she scuffed her heels in the dirt. 

"Orochimaru didn't teach you humbleness, did he now?" Ibiki opened the post office door for her. 

"There's no point in pretending when you're strong as shit." She hissed, brushing past him. 

"Tch. I'd love to pair you with Hatake or Shiranui for a week. You'd get your ass kicked." Ibiki scoffed. 

At the mention of Kakashi, Anko's interest piqued. She turned to Ibiki. 

"That weirdo's a sensei now?" 

"They took him out of the ANBU, yes." Ibiki frowned, arms folded as they waited in line. 

"Couldn't take it?" Anko's eyes gleamed. 

"No. It was an executive decision that his skills would be put to better use as an instructor." Ibiki remembered hearing Maito Gai crying like a child in the Hokage's office as he passed by. It was such a heartbreaking noise, that he stopped in his tracks. The voices of Asuma and Kurenai were also heard. 

The jonin had experienced untold strife and misery in his years, but Hatake was a special case. Even Ibiki couldn't imagine what it would be like to have his comrade's eye in place of his own. That was a scar that could never heal. 

"I'd like to train with him." Anko mirrored the man's frown and crossed arms. 

Ibiki groaned internally. He hated how attached he was getting to her. He had to get her distracted and get himself busy before it got worse. Stupid brat. 

"I've got business with the Hokage this afternoon. I'll bring it up. No promises."

"I bet he's real pretty now." Anko's face split into a devilish grin. 

Ibiki squinted at her for a moment. 

"I wouldn't bother. I'm not sure he's of your persuasion," The jonin was quick to follow up with, "And don't you dare try anything. If you do, I hope he puts you six feet under for it." 

Anko's lip curled, and she whirled around. 

"Fine. I still think he's cool though. Cool, but like, in a lame way." 

Ibiki put his head in his hand. This was more than he signed up for. 

"Just get your mail, Mitarashi." 

\--

Anko stared at the clerk. 

"The hell is all of _this?!"_ She squawked as the man grunted and dropped a huge carton of boxes and letters onto the counter. 

"You were gone for a year and a half. You have a lot of mail." He panted, clipboard clattering beside it. "Sign please." 

"Guess you'll be entertained for a while, huh?" Ibiki snorted, cuffing the back of her head affectionately. 

Anko grumbled a few swears and initialed before grabbing the carton as if it weighed nothing. 

"Fine." She frumped, and walked through the other customers without bothering to dodge any of them. Thankfully, they saw the look on her face and did it for her. She hollered over her shoulder before exiting. "You'd still better hook me up with Hatake, you old fart!" 

Ibiki exchanged glances with the clerk. 

He gave the man a weak smile. 

"Never met that woman in my life." He lied.


	7. The Tape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heres the [more] nsfw bit i guess
> 
> jesus h ninja christ izumo you idiot
> 
> i love how when he talks to kabuto hes all soft and gay but when he talks to anko hes all raw and emotional and stupid
> 
> dumbass

Anko trudged back home, pissed that she was starting to have to feel emotions again . 

She wished she could have just gone home with Ibiki and slept. Maybe eat more. Mostly sleep. She liked the way he smelled, of cool spices and a bitter tinge of alcohol. He also was very warm. 

The kunoichi didn't know why she was in such a... _ cuddly  _ mood. It bothered her immensely. 

She stalked into the barracks and slammed her door shut, dropping the carton on the floor, staring blankly at the cloud of letters. 

Anko didn't want all of this... _ baggage. _ She just wanted to forget. She wanted to eat her weight in sweets and sleep off any bad memories. Maybe ask to be put in the ANBU. If Hatake was out, then that meant there was an opening.

She lay on her bed, eyeing the mass of paper and boxes warily. She didn't  _ want  _ things to go back to normal. She just wanted to  _ fight  _ and  _ forget.  _

The girl fell asleep after a while, and woke when she slid off the bed and onto the floor with a loud  _ thump. _

Groaning, she saw what she hit her head on. A cassette tape? The hell was this? 

** _Anko Summer E89_ **

She frowned at the label. Curious, she got up, taking it with her to put into the radio - which had a slot for cassettes. She hit play. 

_ Hey Anko! It's me, Izumo.  _

Anko's heart stopped at the sound of her old teammate's voice. It was almost slow motion, how she backed up, falling back onto the mattress, eyes wide. 

_ Kotetsu's been bugging me to ask you if you got any of  _ his  _ letters. I told him you can't read chicken scratch. But whatever. I wanted to see how you were doing, even though I know you can't talk back...it's kinda like having you on the phone while I'm in bed… _

A pause.

_ Ahah, ah...um...n-not like that. I've...got clothes on, I promise.  _

Anko couldn't help it. She pictured Izumo's face, and smiled.

Eyes drooping, she slunk under the covers, flopping on her side and curling, face poking out to watch the reels turn. 

_ Okay, so...I...I really don't want to talk about it, but we got to go into town, and they had a cassette tape at the store...and… _

_ I hope you're doing okay. It sucks we got separated. I think you'd like the farm. I...really...um, well, I… _

Silence.

_ I didn't wanna say it so early on, I kinda wrote out what I wanted to say, but then I left it up at the barn, so… _

_ I miss you. I miss you a lot. I miss telling stories at the campfire, and … _

Anko blinked, smiling. She could  _ hear  _ the blush on the boy's cheeks. 

_ ...when you'd sneak into my sleeping bag...and we'd cuddle, and you...you'd...uh...haha...um… _

The girl put her head in her hands and laughed silently. What an  _ idiot. _ They'd kiss a little before Izumo got too shy, and Anko would just leave hickeys on his neck because she was bored and liked to play the "get Izumo in trouble with Sensei" game because he got noisy and squirmy when he was teased. She missed that. 

_ Haha...ah...uh...um, anyway...and I...I miss when Sensei took us out to Ichiraku after missions and we'd see Iruka there and he and Kotetsu would have an eating contest and… _

_ … _

_ ...sometimes I pretend you never left. When Kotetsu's out late...I…okay, it's not creepy, I promise, but I've got that photo of you, the one of you with us, smiling and...well, I talk to you like you...you're here.  _

_ ….God, that sounds really weird...ahaha….um, shit. _

Anko snorted.  _ You have a crush on me. I get it, loser.  _

_ Okay, alright, um, enough of that. I wish you'd come by so we could ride the horses together. Or hunting. I don't really like hunting, but since I'm really good at sealing techniques, we can save the venison for a long time, and the leather is so useful.  _

_ Ahaha, and the dogs love the antlers. I usually have one on me when I go up to the hills to herd. Squeakbox is a mama now. She had a few puppies, so I named one after you. She's a red merle. I think you'd like her. She bites everything now that she can walk.  _

_ Don't think I'm slacking off on training, just cuz I'm back at the farm…! I'm gonna ace the chuunin exams and even make Jonin before Kotetsu. Sometimes I make shadow clones look like you to spar with. But it's not the same. I miss fighting you, y'know? I...I always loved how you kept me on my toes, and you were never a sore loser. Um...I… _

_ ...Hey, Anko...if we get the chance...you wanna...hang out once I get back?  _

Anko grabbed a pillow and pawed it under her, hugging it as she closed her eyes. 

The sound of Izumo's voice was calming her to the point of dozing off. It was as if the sound transported her back to better days, when everything was rose tinted. 

-

When she woke up, she saw the film was almost gone. 

_ It's...hard for me to explain how I feel about you.  _

_ Sometimes...I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop thinking about you whispering secrets in my ear at night when we'd sneak away from Sensei...can't stop thinking about that time you got so sick me and Kotetsu stayed with you for two days straight to care for you...can't stop thinking about how pretty you looked in that kimono at the Tanabata festival.  _   
  


Silence. Anko's eyes grew wide. 

_ I wished that we'd be friends forever. _

_ …. _

_ Now I think I…want more than that.  _

The player clicked. Side A was finished. 

Anko blinked, and scrambled out of bed, sheets flying to turn the cassette tape over. 

** _Anko Spring E90_ **

The first thing she noticed, right away, was the change in voice. Izumo's voice had deepened considerably. An attractive, smooth low tone. Occasionally it'd grow scratchy as he got flustered ...but…

_ Hey Anko. Happy belated birthday. I had a kinda shitty fall. Got sick off my ass, so I didn't think to record then. You're ...fifteen...sixteen? Shit, I can't remember. I'm fifteen now so...that means...you're turning...sixteen  _ this _ year. I thought...yeah you're ...Okay, shit, sorry. I sound like a terrible friend, but the farm's been busy as hell.  _

_ It's good though. Lotta lambs. Super cute. Kinda pissed you can't come see them. I hope your sensei isn't kicking your ass too bad, haha. Or, maybe you're back already. I can't listen to the front of this tape, I sound so squeaky and stupid.  _

_ Goddamn it, I shoulda scripted this. I'm just laying in bed faking a cold because my arms are raw from delivering all these fucking lambs. Also cuz I haven't been able to get you off my mind. It's...driving me crazy. I keep dreaming I'm back in Konoha with you. I miss your smile. I miss your  _ laugh.  _ Ugh, I'm sappy, but I'm serious. I wish you'd just write back, but I'm not gonna bitch about it. You're probably working your ass off day and night.  _

A pause.

_ Please kick Kotetsu's ass when we get back. I'll pay you.  _

Anko hummed a laugh at that.

_ Oh. Yeah. Speaking of, that'll be soon. Two weeks from now we'll be on the road. I'm gonna sweep the competition at the exams, so you'd better be there.  _

Silence. 

_ Son of a bitch I hope you don't have a boyfriend, haha. I won't die mad over it, but I...I've been thinking about...well, I think I'd get stupid if I saw you with someone else. Does that make sense? Like...I dunno. I worry about some fucker...being gross to you.  _

_ If it's Kotetsu...well, I guess I'd see that coming. So long as you two don't fuck in my bed, y'know?  _

Anko giggled and rolled onto her back. 

_ Kotetsu.  _ She laughed out loud. That idiot was a good friend, but…

_ I may have to join in, haha.  _

Anko's eyes bugged out. Since  _ when  _ was this little bastard so  _ forward?! _

_ Nah, nah. Just kidding. But seriously, I hope you're not with anyone. I don't want anything to...I dunno, it sounds so petty, but...get in the way of Team Shikaku, y'know?, _

_ And...I just...I want to talk, to be with you. It's fuckin'  _ lonely  _ out here. Now I get why Kotetsu wouldn't shut up about you all year. It feels... _ wrong  _ without you with us.  _

Anko's heart began to race as she heard what suspiciously sounded like the unzipping of jeans. There was a faint rustling and a sigh. She swallowed. _Hard_. 

_ No one's home. Do you have any idea how fuckin' difficult it is to not make a shadow clone of you? Maybe only thinking of you makes it last longer, cuz if I want anything, I want the real...thing.  _

Anko inhaled sharply, not realizing she had been holding her breath as Izumo's voice dropped lower with a quiet groan. 

_ This is fucked up, but I can't help it. I want so much of you, way more than I should. I don't tell Kotetsu though. I pretend I don't give a shit. But these pillows aren't nearly as...vocal as I know you'd be ...ah, Anko… _

The girl's thighs tensed. He really _was_. He was jacking off to her, and...the  _ bastard.  _

_ I don't wanna...not on here. God damn, I really hope you don't think I'm nasty for this, as absolutely asinine as that sounds, considering I'm hard as hell from just thinking of you… _

Anko knew she shouldn't, but her hand was already between her legs, face pressed into the pillow. 

_ ...mm, fuck. Anko, I'm so sorry. I hate being like this, but...you're the only girl...I can't control my…my feelings around. Even girls like Kurenai and Yugao...it's day and night in comparison.  _

The kunoichi tensed, curling up as she hit a sweet spot, milking it for all it was worth, biting her hand so she didn't miss a single word. 

Izumo's panting grew heavier. 

_ G-god, this is...so bad...I...can't...I shouldn't-- mmm--fuck! Anko, Anko...I want you so bad, want to hold you, kiss you, fuck, just to touch you again...ah...hah...shit...so close, g-gotta...st-stop… _

"Don't…" Anko moaned, rolling over onto her back, eyelids fluttering. 

_ G-gonna regret this if I...hah...ah..ah...ah…! Anko, Anko….f-fuck! Can't...can't...not now, I...I'll...mmm ...s-save it for...when I see you again… _

The kunoichi had already climaxed all over her fingers, gasping Izumo's name raspily, teeth sinking deeper into her knuckles. 

Silence. 

Izumo's voice sounded a little different. 

_ 'Kay. Had to shower. I was...dyin' for a minute. I knew if I just held out it'd be all I'd talk about so… _

_ Haha, um...wow, okay. Looking back? Super stupid. Probably'll record over this and pretend that didn't happen. Shit. Sorry, Anko. I don't wanna seem like...that's...all I think of you. I...I really, uh, well.. _

_ Look. There's no reason for me to "confess" my feelings over a stupid...fucking recording. I'll do it in person. And even then, I'm going to be honest. We've probably changed a lot. _

_ But… _

_ Anko… _

The girl sat up, hugging the pillow in her lap. 

She stared at the reels. 

_ … _

_ I'm always going to...care about you.  _

_ No matter what happens to you. I know...some things happened with you and your sensei. I know...it wasn't okay. And I...when you told me, I...I know you're strong. I know you can kick my ass by looking at it. But...I want to be strong for you, when you feel like you can't be. You don't...always have to be tough. _

_ ...I guess what I...what I want you to hear, out of all of this...is...if you're hurting… _

_ ...I want to shoulder it for you. I want to be the one who sees you at your worst. I want to be the one who takes the pain.  _

_ No matter what. That's my...that's my nindo, Anko. Is to be the person that makes it hurt just a little less. Even if I can't make the pain stop, or reverse time...I want to...at least be who you lean on. I won't ever give up on you, okay?  _

_ ...shit's...really hard for me, emotionally, I guess. I want to be honest. Sometimes, I can't think of anything but you, and sometimes I don't want to think of anything but my sheep and becoming a chuunin. That's...why I want to wait till I see you again. I don't..want to rush into anything. _

_ ...Really, all I want is to...see you again. See you smile.  _

_ ... _

_ ...fuck, I really miss you, Anko.  _

The kunoichi threw the sheets over her head and cried. 

_ Part of me wants to pretend...we aren't growing up. That I'll see you, and we'll both be short as shit, and skinny and stupid as all hell. You'll laugh and punch me. I'll blush and stutter.  _

_ … _

_ My heart hurts. Cuz I know I'm gonna see you, and you'll look so different. I will too.  _

_ I just… _

Anko held her breath as she heard Izumo sob. Just once. 

_ I'm...I'm scared, too. I don't want to...I don't want to act like an idiot...and hurt you, or say something and fuck it all up. _

_ ...I know you, Anko. You're...not petty. You're not...selfish, though you'll argue with me on that. You're so fucking  _ kind  _ and...you're amazing. And I...I know...I know deep down, this is stupid. I haven't seen you in almost two years. I'm gonna see you, you'll see me, and we'll just awkwardly wave and smile and pretend we didn't grow up away from one another.  _

Anko lay still, face streaming, mouth pulled taut as she cried silently.

_ I shouldn't be in love with you. Last I saw you, we were just...kids. I know it's irrational. I know, I  _ know,  _ okay?! I don't expect anything from you. Let's...get that straight right now. I don't expect anything but you being my friend.  _

There was a deep sigh.

_ I'll tell you this in person. I'm going to delete this side of the tape. Maybe record some of the sheep sounds for you to fall asleep to. This is fucked up. I don't like feeling out of control of my own emotions, but...I think of you and it's like a hurricane. I hate it. You deserve someone who's calm and gentle. I want to be that for you. I want  _ you  _ to be the storm, and to hold you as it passes. I've got a long way to go. I'm...probably going to wait until...I think I'm a good enough person ...wait until I'm ready to be that...that man for you, Anko.  _

_ ...and if...you find someone else, in the meantime...I'll...I'll be okay with it. I'd rather be ready and late, than immature and rush in.  _

Silence. 

The tape was almost done.

Anko stared through bleary eyes as the reels began to slow. 

_ You're too precious to me… _

_ ...I love you, Anko.  _

Crackling, then the sound of bells and sheep, for about five minutes before the sound warped and the reels clicked to a stop. 

He had sent the tape on accident. He must have. 

Anko lay for a long while in the silence before getting up. 

She padded barefoot to the almost  _ hundreds  _ of letters on the floor. There  _ must _ have been at least a hundred. Some from Izumo, some from Kotetsu. A few from Shikaku. Even one from Iruka. 

She grabbed a few of Izumo and Kotetsu's and brought them to the bed to read. 

Kotetsu's letters were not nearly as eloquent, though, in the later ones, he seemed much more open, honest. He also confessed feelings for her, though, to her absolute surprise, he seemed  _ incredibly  _ shy about it. 

Anko sighed. 

God, he was sweet.  _ Poetic _ , even. She was taken back to all the times they snuck out of camp to make out in the woods, and behind clumsy touches and wandering fingers, she felt as though Kotetsu wanted more than just those nights. He wanted the days too. 

Even though it was hormone and stupidity-driven, he was so god damn  _ tender  _ about it. Nothing was rough, or forced. 

Anko stared at the wall until her eyes hurt. 

_ Fuck this.  _

She flopped onto her back, jacked off to the memory of Kotetsu holding her up against the old oak tree and kissing her neck, telling her he loved her in that husky voice of his …

Then she kicked off the covers and stood up, shuffling over to the bathroom to shower. 

Anko grabbed her hoodie and sweats that Ibiki had bought her, threw them on and grabbed her keys. 


	8. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #dadsquad

Shikaku was napping in the backyard with Shikamaru when Anko came around, calling his name. 

The toddler, who was drooling on the man's chest, woke with a start, and cried, whacking his father in the nose with a pudgy hand. 

Shikaku spluttered awake, looking around in confusion before sitting up, bouncing baby Shikamaru in his lap until he settled. 

Anko padded over, smiling before squatting down in front of them. 

"Hey Stinky." The girl grinned, poking the baby's round belly. "You got big." She looked up. "Hey, Gramps." 

"Anko?" Shikaku's eyes widened. "Is it--"

"Yeah, unfortunately, it really  _ is  _ me." She gave him a smirk. "Having a nice nap? Aren't you a  _ jonin _ ?"

Shikaku glowered. 

"I'm a  _ dad.  _ The brat's mother is on mission. Which is good because I don't have to hear her, but bad because I'm Mr. Mom now." 

"Oh, it's not  _ that _ bad, Shikaku." 

Anko blinked, turning her head to see Inoichi standing on the back porch, drying off a frying pan and wearing a pink apron over his dark grey uniform. She nearly snorted. 

"You finally ditch the witch for your boyfriend?" She laughed. Shikaku blushed profusely and scowled, but Inoichi chuckled. 

"Not exactly. I brought little Ino over to play with Shikamaru. I just made lunch, and it's such a beautiful day, they decided to take a nap outside afterwards while I cleaned up." The blonde jonin beamed. 

"Seriously. Drop the dragon lady and marry Inoichi." Anko stood up, arms folded. "Then your kids can get married and y'know, do whatever bullshit clan stuff has to happen." 

Inoichi's face grew pale. 

"Ah, well…"

Shikaku got to his feet with a groan. 

"Arranged marriage is what got me here in the first place. I don't regret Shikamaru, but I'm not about to subject him to--"

"Neh, neh…! Shikaku, dear, come now." Inoichi gave him a beseeching look. "This is different. Ino is nothing like your wife." 

"Yes. Correct. _She's two years old."_ The black haired jonin returned the look with a leer. 

"I mean, I'm going to raise her to be a good wife. A partner." His friend frowned sadly. "I won't force her to marry anyone, but...I'd want her and Shikamaru to…" 

Anko stared, dumbfounded at these  _ grown men. _

"They're BABIES!" She gave them both an incredulous look, throwing her arms up in the air. "They can barely  _ talk _ let alone get  _ married!"  _

Inoichi laughed out loud, and Shikaku joined in. 

"Clan tradition is stupid, we agree." The older of the two grinned. "But, it's in their best interest." 

The blonde nodded once. 

"They'll have a close bond with one another, especially once they become genin together on a team. What matters most to us, in the end, is that they're good friends, and trust one another."

Shikaku shrugged. "I could care less if the little brats got married. I'd much rather they enjoy life as much as they can before they get old and get pressured to have their  _ own _ tiny heathens." He looked to Inoichi. 

"Right?"

"Absolutely." His friend nodded sagely. 

Anko blinked. 

Dads were... _ weird. _

\--

They all talked over tea inside as Ino and Shikamaru played with toys on the living room floor. 

"So...how did it go? You're in one piece, I see." Shikaku sipped his tea, thumb rubbing habitually at the ring on his finger. 

"Shit." Anko shrugged. "Kinda wanted to fuckin' die the whole time." 

Inoichi's eyes widened. 

"Rough, huh?" Shikaku blinked slowly, calm. 

"You don't want to know. You'd probably like, call a psychiatrist or somethin.'" Anko dumped another spoonful of sugar into her cup. 

"It's Orochimaru. I figured he'd put you through hell." The jonin frowned. Why was the girl wearing her headband around her neck? She was hiding something. 

"You look like you wanna know the gory details." Anko leaned in. "He's not my Sensei anymore. He left me to die." 

Inoichi looked incredibly worried. He remained silent, however. 

Shikaku raised a brow. 

"Mm? Did he?" 

"You aren't taking this seriously." Anko began to slowly bristle. "Do you even care if I told you how many times I was raped, or tortured?"

Inoichi suddenly stood up, but Shikaku held a hand up. 

"I'm in no way excusing him of his actions." The jonin spoke quietly. "But Ibiki told me everything. You can rest assured that his days of teaching are over." 

"So I was just the last victim, huh?!" Anko stood up so quickly her chair toppled over. The kids looked up from their toys. "Is that it?!"

"Anko. Sit down." Shikaku's voice was low, but gentle.

Inoichi carefully eased the trembling girl back into her seat, stroking her shoulder comfortingly. 

"Here's the thing. You're not the first. Many kunoichi, especially during wartime, have been subjected to sexual torture as a means of training." He sipped his tea. "It's horrific. But I'm not surprised."

"Shikaku, stop being so calloused. She's barely more than a  _ child _ ." Inoichi hissed, blue eyes burning. 

"She was a chuunin when he took her away for extensive training." Shikaku finished his tea. "In his eyes, in many shinobis' eyes, she was an adult."

"That doesn't excuse--"

"Inoichi. Enough. I'm just as furious as you are. But I want to state the facts, first." The man's coal eyes were narrowed. "You will receive as little or as much psychiatric care from Ibiki-sensei as you desire. He will personally see to your recovery." 

Anko stared blankly at her sensei. 

"Why...are you like this?" She whispered. "Why do you act like we're in the middle of a war?" 

"Anko." Shikaku leaned forward, hands folded. His features were wrought with suppressed emotion. "You are one of my most precious students. But I have to approach this rationally, or I'll lose control myself. As much as I want to tear that bastard's dick off and beat him to death with it, it's not going to happen." 

The man stood up. 

"I want you to take care of yourself first and foremost. He may have hurt you more than we can see, but by being alive, you're stronger than he is. Stronger than what he put you through." 

Anko blinked, watching him as he walked around the table to look at her closer. 

"We don't expect you to trust us right away. Personally, I'm happy you let Ibiki help you. But...however you decide to heal, or to use those scars to your advantage…"

Inoichi smiled softly. 

"We're here for you. Both of us." 

Anko sniffled once. 

"Can I sleep?" She mumbled. "My head hurts." 


	9. The King

The girl fell asleep curled up in Shikaku's bed, Inoichi sitting beside her and stroking her hair to relax her. He leaned against the headboard, petting her back and shoulders with one hand as the other held a book to read. The radio played quietly on the windowsill. 

Shikaku entered a few minutes later. 

"They're gathering Anbu to hunt down Orochimaru. That mark on her neck...it's reason to believe those missing children are dead from illegal experiments." He adjusted his flak jacket. "I almost volunteered. But...I think she'll want me close by." 

Inoichi nodded slowly. 

"This day has been a long time coming." He whispered. 

"It has." The blonde had a faraway look in his eyes. "Did you know…?" 

Shikaku hummed low. 

"I had my suspicions. She seemed...oddly open about her body. She'd...well…" He cleared his throat. "At camp, she'd...go at it. Even when I was nearby. She even asked me to help once."

Inoichi's eyes widened. 

"I figured...Orochimaru was...trying to desensitize her to...but I didn't think he'd take it that far." Shikaku's eyes narrowed. "His teaching methods have always been harsh and very strict, but...Anko always spoke so  _ highly  _ of him." 

He sighed deeply. 

"It was  _ clear,  _ very much so, that she adored him. He must have taken good care of her, Inoichi. She smiled at his name and was full of praise for him." He sat down on the bed, looking over the girl's peaceful features. "She  _ wanted  _ to be around him. She was so affectionate and happy. She loved training with him, always so excited to show me something new she learned after she came back from their little trips." 

Inoichi swallowed thickly.

"Was it all an act for him?" 

Shikaku frowned. 

"It's hard to tell. He's fuckin'  _ impossible  _ to read, even for me. But I don't think he faked how much he liked the kid. He was obviously fond of her." He glanced over at the door for a while. "Something must have happened for her to lose favor with him. My guess, is that she realized that he was more willing to inflict pain to test her limits and abilities, than he was to care for her mental health. And she rebelled." 

Inoichi nodded slowly. 

"Ibiki tells me he still thinks...part of her...hasn't let go of him. I think she...has to do that before any real healing can begin." He stood up. "She still...respects  _ part  _ of him. Still  _ wants  _ him to be her sensei. Even if she knows it's wrong."

"Denial." Inoichi said quietly.

"Lots of it." 

"I think she'll do better when the boys come back. She needs to discover herself outside of what she was subjected to. She needs healthy societal influences." 

"If anything can cure a broken heart, it's Izumo and Kotetsu." Shikaku laughed under his breath. "Those idiot kids got us to smile after the Kyuubi. They can get Anko to smile too. She adores them." 

Inoichi gazed up at Shikaku. 

"And I adore  _ you. _ Thank you for taking care of her. She'll understand soon enough." 

The older man blushed. 

"Tch." He rolled his eyes. "You're always so sappy." 

"Only for  _ you _ , Shikaku." Inoichi spoke tenderly. 

His friend looked at him for a long time with sad eyes. 

"Anko  _ will _ be the last. If I have to die for these idiot kids to never know a day of pain, I'll do it happily." 

"They're our Will, darling." Inoichu murmured, teal eyes misty as Shikaku leaned in to kiss him lovingly. "You'll never...know how grateful i am...for you to have shown me that."

"I think I know." His friend kissed him again. 


End file.
